(Image Above: Cheezhead.com)

Where would we be without the double entendre, the double meaning? This week’s Top Ten Misunderstood News Headlines shows us that what we write might not be read right. But therein lies the fun. So, let’s order another round of hilarity from the Top Ten; oh, and don’t forget to make it a double.

10.  Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter. That must have been one slow cashier!

9.  Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents. It wasn’t the parents’ fault. It was genetic. The survivor shouldn’t take it out on them!

8.  Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead. Thank you captain obvious.

7.  Miners Refuse To Work After Death. Before refusing to work after death, you think they’d refuse to be worked to death.

6.  Old School Pillars Are Replaced By Alumni. This must be what happens if you don’t contribute to the alumni fund.

5.  Include your Children when Baking Cookies. This one was likely written by hungry dingoes.

4.  Stolen Painting Found by Tree. A tree finds a painting? How can this happen? I’m stumped.

3.  Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half. So you better stop playing hookie!

2.  Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? Quite nearly a question that encroaches on personal space, not outer space.

1.  Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case. Cruel and unusual punishment taken to greats lengths, or lack of lengths, if you will.