Warning: Do not read this book while drinking tea or coffee or soda or, well… anything… because the definitions of this “illustrated encyclopedia of fashion” will surely cause you to snort your beverage straight out of your nose.
Witty, brash, amusing, and cheeky to the extreme, What on Earth are You Wearing? hails from a planet much more engaging than your typical coffee table book. Between its eye-delighting drawings and cry-inducing definitions (“Fatigues: really, really tired clothes that are so exhausted they can’t muster any pretty colors”), it’s pretty hard to close the cover on this book once you’ve cracked it open.
At a loss for words over how great this book is? Then, you’ll gain a bit of gladness to find out you’ve a chance at winning this book if you respond to the creativity-provoking prompt below!
Write a short, droll, fashion-related definition of your own.
Here’s an example: “Argyle: a pirate’s favorite fabric.”
- You have until Thursday, September 27, 2012, to participate.
- Though you may leave comments after the above date, any comments left after 11:59 p.m. PT on September 27 will not qualify.
- Only comments left on this blog post will be counted into the giveaway.
- Winners will be chosen at random.
- We will contact you via e-mail if you are a winner.
- For more information, please see our Contests & Comments page.
Now, go have fun fashioning creative comments!
17 loves 
Satin: A fabric often used for crazy New Year’s Eve shirts. Also refers to intentional hind quarter placement.
Boots: Shoes a ghost would wear in the colder months…if they have feet.
Gauchos: Pants that inflict pain upon those within their view. The wearer themselves may feel the pain of social alienation.
Haha! This is great.
Poncho: A blanket-turned-overcoat that helps increase an individual’s worldliness.
Write a short, droll, fashion-related definition of your own.
Blazer: A bright or glowing jacket that has sudden or intense outbursts
Good one!
A hem is the sound fashionistas make when someone’s bold choice has definitely gone too far and the length of their garment has not.
This one made me snort my coffee! Love it!
Good one!! Excellent, actually. Very clever.
Corduroy: Was originally called “Cord du Roy” because a man named Roy tried creating a clothing line only made with pieces of cord. It was a terrible flop!
High heels: Giving women unnecessary confidence to teeter-tot around all night
What a beautiful definition.
Jeggings: The pair of jeans you can wear to a club.
Sequins: Glitter’s inebriated cousin, often seen on Las Vegas showgirls and New Years Eve party goers.
Skort: An offspring of shorts and a skirt that resulted in a genetic clothing mutation.
Parka: A woman’s best friend after all the holiday treats have disappeared.
Kitten heels: heels that are so adorable, they leave you purring with satisfaction.
Prairie skirt:
A full skirt with a petticoat flounce at the bottom that went out of style after Laura Ingalls Wilder died.
Jeggings: Denim-patterned spandex pants so tight they squeezed out ‘ean L’
Berets: floppy hats young American hipsters wear in a desperate attempt to appear more exotic and edgy, while the French gently sniff in distain and venture outside, too hip for hats.
houndstooth: a pattern inspired by what you saw when your neighbor’s dog bit you while riding in a shopping cart
Pointy Toed Shoes- A fashion formation for the extermination of the hard to kill cockroaches concealed in corners.
Die cockroach, die!!!
Fatigues rather hit the mark!
Turtle neck sweater: Although it may seem logical, not sold with a shell as a sweater set
Boatneck: a neckline inspired by the action of a boom to a sailboat, when it knocks you into the water.
Flower glitzy: a flower pattern dress with a glamourous necklace on top.
Turtleneck: when you’re not sure if you can see the neck and head, or just the head.
Funnel Neck: A type of neckline that is most popular with scientists and those who frequently work at county fairs.
Funnel Neck: A type of neckline loved by scientists and those who frequently work at county fairs.
Oops, went twice! Sorry! My internet is really bad! :(
Wool: a scratchy, itchy material that is more uncomfortable to wear than just sleeping in the hay with the sheep.
Polka Dots: cooler than Wallflower Squares
Bandage dress: for when you’ve suffered a torso injury and must remain tightly bound yet have a party to attend.
Paisley: a design only an interior decorator from the 1800′s would love
Patent leather shoes: an unexplainable form of torture for your feet that sometimes must be experienced because of the extreme cuteness of the shoe.
Glitter: This addition to any garment will make sure it really sticks with (and to) you through it all.
Ponchos: For the little girls in their terrible two’s that put up a fuss when their mother tries to put a winter coat on them. Also for those who are too tired or lazy to lift their arms and insert them into sleeves.
ModCloth clothing: A modern way to rediscover the great history of fashion!
Tank top- A shirt that shows off your “guns”. (In an entirely peaceful manner of course)
Epaulette – Making manly men look fancy since 1672.
Fanny Pack: The fugly child of a belt and a purse, that should always be burned, and never worn around your waist.
Suede: A more convincing version of leather
Velvet: fabric worn by ice skaters, former beauty queens, and cat ladies.
Flipflops: Half-coffins for your feet.
The best outfit is your birthday suit. But once in a while its great to display some other fine attire =)
bikini: The only time its okay to walk around half naked and pick wedgies :)
sequins: flashy adornments fit for a craft project, a dance club’s floor, or your favorite dress :)
High heels: Ah, so tortuously delicate, these implements allow you to look fabulous as you totter on the edge of graceful.
I can’t stop laughing. These are all so great!
Come check out the Food & Wine Magazine Giveaway I’m having.
http://www.becauseofmadalene.com/2012/09/food-and-wine-magazine-giveaway.html
Christina
Tie-dye :the aftermath of impure intoxicating intimacy between clothes and colors.
Spandex- Richard Simmons’s fabric of choice.
Mohair: Something a bald man desires
Cargo pants: the camouflage won’t hide your shame, but all the pockets do make it easier to carry around.
Crocs: Smelly boxes of plastic to ward off potential friends. *Thanks for the heads-up, miss”
I do not agree. I adore Crocs, if they’re the name brand.
Capris: pants named for a city that I understood explicitly once I visited there. It’s difficult to stay stylish and fabulous when the sun is beating down hard enough to make you almost pass out on the bus. So you need to show a little skin and keep cool!
Lace: Eminently classy or tragically trashy, its versatility runs the spectrum.
Jeggings: You think you’re fooling everyone, but you’re not.
Taffeta: fabric confection made by twisting the best salt water taffy and feta cheeses in the world
Crocs: a duck’s go-to flipper hider.
(although honestly, I love wearing crocs! :)
Harem Pants: Jeannie’s (from ‘I Dream of Jeannie’) go-to flouncy bottoms.
See also: MC Hammer