Pass the LOLs: A ‘Corny’-copia of Thanksgiving Jokes!


Image via Larry Fink

Let’s face it — there’s no better garnish to a Thanksgiving feast than some giggling between gobbling! From the time I was young, I’ve been serving up jokes during holiday dinners in an effort to put a grin on every face around the table (beneath all that gravy).

Since bored cousins and bristly uncles are no match for our taste in wit, we’ve prepared eight deliciously devised wisecracks for each guest at your holiday feast this year. See if you can cook up a few smiles with these pie-sweet ‘pun’-liners!

How do you make a cobbler sweet?
You ‘berry’ it!

How do you calculate the average pie slice size?
Mean, median, or a la mode.

What did the apron say to the cranberry sauce?
Don’t mess with me!

Why wouldn’t the apple join in the football game?
It could decide which ‘cider’ to play on!

What’s got leaves, candles, and mediates all night?
A center-‘peace’

Why couldn’t the pumpkin pie go skydiving?
He’s always had ‘crust’ issues!

What do turkeys do before going to the parade?
They check the ‘feather’ report.

What did the green bean say to the onion?
You’ve been on a casse-‘role’ all night!

Got a good Turkey Day one-liner? Be sure to share in the comments!

About Chris

Every day, Chris gets one to three scoops closer to his dream of an ice cream-only diet. If he's not indulging his sweet tooth, Chris is using his child-like energy levels to play rubber snake pranks, converse with countless puns, and capture the world in photos as he walks. If you aspire to have a perfect Pittsburgh accent or have a passion for periodicals, he would love to talk over afternoon coffee.

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1 Comment

  1. Eliza 11/25/2013 at 4:10 am #

    How pun-derful!

    Ready for this? Where does poultry go for vacation? Turkeys and Caicos!

    I’m here all week.

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