Top Ten Misunderstood News Headlines

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Where would we be without the double entendre, the double meaning? This week’s Top Ten Misunderstood News Headlines shows us that what we write might not be read right. But therein lies the fun. So, let’s order another round of hilarity from the Top Ten; oh, and don’t forget to make it a double.

10.  Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter. That must have been one slow cashier!

9.  Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents. It wasn’t the parents’ fault. It was genetic. The survivor shouldn’t take it out on them!

8.  Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead. Thank you captain obvious.

7.  Miners Refuse To Work After Death. Before refusing to work after death, you think they’d refuse to be worked to death.

6.  Old School Pillars Are Replaced By Alumni. This must be what happens if you don’t contribute to the alumni fund.

5.  Include your Children when Baking Cookies. This one was likely written by hungry dingoes.

4.  Stolen Painting Found by Tree. A tree finds a painting? How can this happen? I’m stumped.

3.  Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half. So you better stop playing hookie!

2.  Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? Quite nearly a question that encroaches on personal space, not outer space.

1.  Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case. Cruel and unusual punishment taken to greats lengths, or lack of lengths, if you will.

8 Responses to Top Ten Misunderstood News Headlines

  1. Julie 09/14/2009 at 2:37 pm #

    great picture, and #2 is hilarious

  2. margaine 09/14/2009 at 4:37 pm #

    Oh dear, these are hilarious. #1 and #6 are my favorites. It would be even better to have the links to original articles.

  3. Katharine 09/14/2009 at 5:32 pm #

    One of my favorites is “Farmer Bill Dies in House.”

  4. Joy C. 09/14/2009 at 7:54 pm #

    i vote for 7,6 and 3 thanks for the laugh

  5. Pamela 09/14/2009 at 7:54 pm #

    fuuuny. (:

  6. Tori Bissell 09/16/2009 at 6:46 am #

    Aw, I love this top ten. I am an English major, so I LOVE the double meanings. Great job team.

  7. Belle 09/17/2009 at 5:22 am #

    These were pretty good but I’m an Aussie and I think your comment for #5 was out of line. I still fail to see why people are making jokes out the death of a 9 week old baby.

  8. Katie 09/20/2009 at 10:04 am #

    Journalism major! These are hilarious.

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